The past couple of weeks have been a challenge for me but through it all, I've had a positive outlook. One thing in particular had occurred that I couldn't fix immediately. I was humbled. I had to put my ego in check, look for ways to solve the problem and (egads!) ask for help.

My family members and close friends say that I'm "independent". It's code for "she doesn't ask for help" or "she doesn't need anyone. I took pride in that for many years. After all, I was raised to take care of myself, my affairs. I also hated to ask for something and be told "no", regardless of the reason. I just couldn't handle it. Only if a task, a project, a problem just could not be done or solved after many exhausting attempts, did I ask for help. I thought that asking for help revealed a flaw or was a sign of failure.

In recent times, I had to ask myself what do I gain from being "independent". I just wrote about the pride I took in being this way...but what is pride and why was I so proud of it? After all, wasn't I saying to others what I hate hearing...no? When someone asks if they can lend assistance...whether it is carrying something or helping with a project...and I say "no", what am I telling them? I don't need or want their help? And, how does that make them feel?

I'm discovering that people want to feel needed, they want to contribute to others. As Stephen Covey said in The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, interdependence is a sign of maturity. We go from being totally dependent as infants, to independent as we get older and should grow to become interdependent.

I've been stuck in independent mode...so happy to say that I did it all by myself. Now doesn't that sound like a toddler who wants to carry his glass of juice, yelling "I can do it!" as drops of juice fall on the floor?

People are communal. Most of us want to contribute what we can to others. We want to give. I know that I do. There's a sense of fulfillment when one can give, contribute, share, or assist someone. Children get it. Ever see a little one assist a parent with some task, perform it to the best of their abilities and the parent tells them "Good job!"? They are so happy to be the little helper.

I am learning the importance of being interdependent, to be a receiver of someone's generosity, as well as a giver. Ego is a barrier.